Showing posts with label Updates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Updates. Show all posts

Wednesday, 8 March 2017


Q: What's the Best Thing about living in Switzerland?
A: Well, the flag is a big plus.


The centre of Geneva is medieval. There's narrow streets and fountains everywhere with fresh, clean water, l'eau potable - the sort of fountains you can drink from.

We don't live in the city centre. A lot of newer buildings seem to be deliberately ugly, all green concrete and shutters like closed like frowns. Inside, there are beautiful spacious apartments, with high ceilings, and the communal stairs are often marble. Our new flat doesn't have marble stairs, but it has parquet flooring. Jesse said someone told him it's to do with the Protestant work ethic: not showing off on the outside, but still having nice things.



You can't see the lake or the mountains from apartment, but it's a short walk to the lake or the UN.

I have a CERN card, a Swiss bank account, and a whole pile of chocolate and cheese. I don't have a job yet.

"Being a housewife rules," I said at knitting group.
"Yes, I thought that at first, too," said someone who's lived in Geneva a year and a half.
"I miss having coworkers," said another.
"I've done a lot of knitting though," said the first person, encouragingly.

40% of Geneva's population is foreign, like me. All our friends are immigrants, though some have lived here for five years or more. More than one has said how hard it is to make lasting friendships in a city where no one stays. Most Swiss people don't bother with the expat crowd, who appear to work in banks, in the UN, at CERN, and then disappear just as suddenly. I wouldn't either.

"Guess what? I met a Swiss person at knitting group," I said to Jesse.
"Oh yeah? I work with a Swiss person," he said.

There are four official languages in Geneva - German, French, Italian and Romansh. Almost everyone seems to speak at least a little English. I am learning French.

I have missed so much, not knowing the language. The city feels very quiet, but it may be because the background hum of conversation is lost to me.

A post shared by Rachel Rayner (@rachelerayner) on


I was examining the chocolate section in Co-op, when a voice on the loudspeaker said, Attension, attension, and then a string of French I couldn't follow. I looked around, and no one was running: there were no more alarms. I looked carefully at another customer, who was looking carefully at me: we both shrugged and went back to shopping. He must not have much French either. An older woman spun towards me and grabbed my arm and said something. I followed her unhurriedly. A harried looking employee gestured for me to put down my basket and leave the store immediately.

Outside, the customers were milling about, though no one was speaking. The store employees marched further down the block. I wandered down the block to the ski store and bought ski poles. When I returned, Co-op was back to normal. My basket was where I left it, so I picked it up and finished shopping, new ski poles under my arm.

A post shared by Rachel Rayner (@rachelerayner) on


I am not worried about bomb threats, but I was a little worried about the politics: Swiss women didn't get the vote until 1971, and were not fully emancipated in every Canton until 1991. But following my husband for his work is the least feminist thing I've ever done, and now I've done it twice.

I feel more respected and seen here than I ever did in London. Bonsoir, say my neighbours, mes voisons, every evening. Bonsoir, merci, au revior. No one has sworn at me on public transport.

On weekends, we walk around the city. We get coffee from one of three places: Birdies (only okay - they use UTH milk, which is standard here - why?), the Boreal by the train station, or the Boreal by Stand. There is a third Boreal, but we haven't been there yet.

That is the best part of living in Geneva. Getting coffee, walking about, and talking of nothing. Making gentle plans - a coffee shop, a flea market. Knowing that at the end of it we can go home together, wherever that home may be.


Friday, 27 March 2015

A bundle of knitting

I've been knitting lately (and always). Here's a bundle of recently finished projects.

This baby hat was for Jenn, who apologised for losing the first one I knit her. "You USED it?" I said. "I'll knit you another one in that case." It was the hat she dressed her baby in to take home from the hospital: baby's first car ride, a seminal event. I was so touched when I learned that I cried a little. Of course she can have another.


No pattern, except in my head - I've been thinking about writing it up.

The second set is just the same, without the ears, for Jenn's sister, and also to use up that skein of blue - there is a lack of boy-babies in my circle.



I knit a lace shawl in a beautiful fingering weight mink (mink!!) I bought a few years ago.


It has a glorious drape, and a gentle halo.


The pattern is Shore


There's no pattern for this next one - it was meant to fit a niece, but. 


Hmm. Whatever.

I finished a sweater!! This is the Peggy Sue


It's got a deep cable hem to pull in the waist. 


And I added tiny, vintage mother-of-pearl buttons.


Finally - I ripped out the ribbing of the hat I made Jesse two Christmases ago, and reknit it deeper. It popped off his head before, and while I didn't mind so much in the heat of last Christmas. This Christmas I crocheted his dad a hat which fits perfectly. 

"I like your dad best, that's why his hat fits," I teased. But we were going to the South Island, the boy needed a hat.


He threw out his boughten-hat, which is tremendously gratifying, but looking again at that ribbing, it could have been an inch deeper still. 

Finally! I know I have been absentee recently (an old joke - Q: How do you begin a blog post? A: Sorry I haven't blogged in a while, but...), please take me at my word when I say I couldn't help it, and there were reasons. Thank you all for sticking with me, and let's get back on the horse together.

Sunday, 7 September 2014

On election night, we’re having a party. We’re going to drink themed cocktails (Muldooned Wine and Champagne Socialism), and watch the votes come in. And we’ll play a game or two while we argue about Epsom. I’ve* made a new deck of Cards Against Humanity, and you can play it too.


Tuesday, 27 May 2014

Where we stayed in Christchurch, the first night of our holiday, had been Red Zoned the last time I'd visited.

We asked the taxi driver where we could get dinner in town. He paused and said, "Nowhere. It's all wasteland now."

The ruins of the Christchurch Cathedral.

Thursday, 1 May 2014


@RobotAdvice is a friendly little Twitter Bot that just wants to help you with all your problems. I made her!

It's a little red tin toy robot.

Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Almost exactly a year ago, I wrote about my obsession with advice columns. Some of the advice columns I listed then are no longer with us, so here's an updated list of the 10 best advice columns online today (according to me).

Advice Shop
  1. Captain Awkward is super into having Scripts and Boundaries. A must read. 
  2. Carolyn Hax is one of my favourite reads. Refreshing, personal, and with a loyal readership.
  3. A Queer Chick on The Hairpin. Let's not talk about how The Hairpin has failed us as a website in so many other ways. A Queer Chick is still updating monthlyish, and it's still great. 
  4. That Bad Advice takes questions from other columns and gives the advice the letter writers were hoping to hear.
  5. Ask Polly mixers experience with her own life in with the answers. Long, but lovely. 
  6. Ask E. Jean belongs to Elle Magazine, but it's refreshing, pithy advice.
  7. Friendzone is hosted over on Jezebel (speaking of lady websites which have failed us). It's fairly solid, and updates regularly. 
  8. Dan Savage's podcasts are entertainment masquerading as advice. Dan's been roundly criticised for being problematic but I listen anyway. (NSFW.)
  9. Miss Information answers sex and dating question for kids these days over on Nerve. It's interesting, how differently things are handled in the States. It seems more complicated.
  10. Dear Prudence is great for absurd, probably fake, questions, and not so great for helpful advice on "modern" issues. Puts out the most content, three updates (plus a video!) per week.
Those are my favourite advice columns! Did I miss yours? Tell me in the comments.

Go to Italy, be a cobbler.

Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Gotten Better

"I would get an IUD, but your post changed my mind - it sounds awful!"

Whoops.

If you squint at my friend's X-ray, you can see her IUD!


I thought I should update the original post, because things have gotten better.

Tuesday, 15 October 2013

When I was doing this update

Friday, 20 September 2013

"My Body, My Organic Lube."

Isn't Twitter just the most wonderful thing? Not long after I posted #FemCAH, someone who I've never met asked if they could make one too. (Of course! Everyone can!)

Sunday, 8 September 2013


Feminist Cards Against Humanity

The humourless feminist is a pretty persistent myth. She's a dumb bitch who can't take a joke, always making a fuss when really we have equality now amirite ladies. It's a myth made up to silence women. Can't you take a joke? And it's just that - a myth. I don't know what feminists you're hanging out with, but the feminists I know are some of the funniest people I've ever met.

Still not sure if these Feminist Cards Against Humanity cards have too many in-jokes.

The humourless feminist myth is a part of the culture we live in. The thing about culture is we don't just absorb it - we shape it, either through actions or silence.

Mixing feminist cards against humanity with the original funny CAH.a

I've written about Cards Against Humanity before. (If you've never heard of the game, go read that post.) It's a good example of bro-culture. In the original version of CAH, everyone has a penis and rape jokes are funny.

This is a screenshot from Questionable Content which is a rad webcomic and you should read it. It's not about bros.
via Questionable Content

But the game doesn't have to be played like that. It's released under a Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 2.0 license. "That means you can use and remix the game for free, but you can’t sell it."

I made a sanitised deck, removing all the rape jokes and Americanisms, and about half the boners. (You can download the PDF here.) To replace the cards I removed, I made my own deck, which has a lot of stuff specific to the female experience, like "period clots" and "skorts" to balance the bro-ness inherent in CAH. (You can download that PDF here. Remixes of CAH like this one are also under Creative Commons licensing, so you can correct that typo if you want, but I'm not going to bother.)

Feminist Cards Against Humanity kicks that up a notch. The jokes are about feminism, and being feminist, the struggle and how far we have to go still and damn if you don't laugh you'll cry.

Feminist Cards Agains Humanity uses the word "Mooncup" twice.

"Non-feminists" (by which I mean "people who didn't take any Women's Studies papers" not "raging bigots") will probably won't find this deck funny. That's because it relies on jargon. Every group has jargon. My pals have a joke which about the difference between Python and JavaScript or Pearl and Ruby - or anyway, there's these two programming languages and they're different and just because I don't understand why that's funny it doesn't mean it isn't. It just means I didn't take any CompSci papers. The onus is on me to repair this gaping hole in my knowledge, rather than demand that jokes only be told on my level. It's the same with this deck - if you don't think it's funny, it's probably not the joke's fault and when you're Card Czar you can always make the winning card about boners, every time.

FemCAH will answer all your questions about feminism.

There's not enough feminist Cards Against Humanity cards to make up a full deck, so mix them in with the deck you already have - and when you're playing with people who don't speak feminist, either take each card as a teachable moment, or institute a house rule which allows for the setting aside of confusing cards. I play by the latter as I can barely explain "intersectionalty" sober, and CAH is a party game which is enhanced by a certain level of intoxication.

Some Feminist Cards Against Humanity Cards refer to me personally.
Speaking of sobrioty - if you're going to hashtag, may I suggest #FemCAH rather than #FeministCAH to reduce typos. If you're feeling mischievous, you might also tag #CAH so it shows up in searches for the original game.

Finally, if you've played and enjoyed the game, please leave me a nice comment saying so. If you have a wicked idea for a card, leave that in the comments too.

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

Over Ruled

The ASA have returned their ruling on the complaints we made: it was not upheld.

They asked that I did not forward their complaint to the media, which I found a little weird I remember having a discussion about whether bloggers constituted "the media" in 2002, and I'd forgotten we never resolved it. (I think that bloggers are media in name, but seldom are in practise.)

Jump back here if you can't remember what I was so het up about or what the complaint was.  The full response follows: click each image to read, all emphasis mine, obviously.







 

Obviously, I'm annoyed that the complaint I made was not upheld.

What I'm worried about is the Chairman's ruling: "People have the right to express their views and this right should not be unduly or unreasonably restricted by Rules."

You can say whatever you like on your blog (I do!), or to you friends (I do!). But you can't get all up in the traditional media with out-and-out lies. That's why we have an Advertising Standards Authority; it's not some nanny-state job-creation exercise for under-employed English majors.

I am really disappointed that the ASA did not play by their own rules. I am also delighted that we have marriage equality in New Zealand. We won this round, and this inaccurate, offensive advert was a giant waste of money.

Friday, 10 May 2013


The decriminalisation of abortion is back on the political agenda, thanks to Young Labour.

Friday, 5 April 2013

I got an email from a friend the other day, which made me feel a lot better about my policy of yelling at tossers:
Speaking of jerks, [Redacted] brought up last year when we yelled at him for using transphobic slurs and he was a jerk, remember that?  He recently did some reading of stuff by trans* people and understands now and apologised!  Wow.  It would have been nice if he had listened to us at the time, but I'm glad that he educated himself and admitted he was wrong.
I kind of remember!! I emailed back.
I have met Redacted, like, twice and I think I was drunk both times?? I vaguely remember yelling, that is NOT okay and SUPER OFFENSIVE and then was unable to articulate why so got another drink instead(??). I remember that it was a fun night, and Redacted probably hated me but whateverrrrr. Yay for their personal growth though!
I'm not 100% sure what you said to him, but I remember him saying "it doesn't bother me, and what else am I supposed to say" and I did my shouty "it's not about you!!" thing.  He said last night that reading stuff about written by trans* people is what changed his mind, so we didn't directly do it, but we pushed him in the right direction.
So it can work, albeit indirectly. The world is a marginally, but measurably, better place because my friend is as coherent after a few drinks as they are over email.

My friends are the best.

If you missed the original post about yelling at tossers, you can read that here.

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Me and K went down to the silos again to see a show.


The show was Concretions, an installation by three artists: Robert Carter, Kim Newall and Clinton Watkins. K's friend Rob invited her, and she invited me.

Saturday, 16 March 2013

My most popular post is about abortion. This isn't because it said anything new or interesting or ground breaking, but because people are Googling abortion in new zealand and finding me.

I asked someone who actually knows something (I just know blogging! I'm not a health professional!) and compiled a short list for anyone looking for resources for accessing abortion in New Zealand.

Wednesday, 30 January 2013

I wondered in the Addendum to the post-before-last if "maybe some things are best photographed from one particular angle - that any other angle is not impossible, but boring and a little pointless". This is an exploration of that.


1. The response to the last post was very complimentary. Thank you to the nice people on Twitter who said nice things! I was quite drunk and only took those photos on my iPhone, so I really think the space deserves the compliments more than I.

2. The space has been opened up before. It has served as a gallery. 

(I heard of this scheme in - 2005, 2006? The talk was memorable because the guest lecturer forgot to state what it was about. He spent twenty minutes drawing threads of thought together, without ever having given us a subject to group them around. He spoke about history, and access to public spaces, and a dozen other things illustrated with slides of maps and architectural concept drawings. He stopped abruptly: "But I never told you the best bit! It's meant to be a gallery.")

The exhibition was Picture Perfect In A World Of Chaos.

3. You should click through and look at the images - there are some more here. I enjoyed looking at the art work very much, and also thinking how a few of the shots mirrored my own. This is partially because of ego, and partially because of the ticklish thought that maybe some things are best photographed from one particular angle - that any other angle is not impossible, but boring and a little pointless.